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Liebe?
EL:
--- Zitat von: Gypsy am 14 Dezember 2012, 06:22:53 ---
My best (male) friend was in love with me for nearly 4 years. I am pretty sure he still loves me, somehow. He was always a friend for me, we tried multiple times to get closer but... welll... something in me just stops me when I is getting serious. Don't know why. Maybe don't wanna hurt his feelings? Because everything (sex, kisses, even hugs) are meaning so much more for him than for me?
..... There was a time when I thought he lost his passion for me and I felt somehow left alone.
Isn't it strange? Missing feelings you will never pay back? Someone told me "when you're loved, somehow you will love back". I think he was right. And you have to admit being loved flatters!
Most women feel somehow insecure. Not worthy enough being loved. Being loved means safety to us.
--- Ende Zitat ---
:)
If I good understand, You let your friend to love you during 4 years for several reasons:
a) you don't wanna hurt his feelings - I think you liked him a little bit, otherwise you would say him sooner what exactly did you feel.
b) you tried to love, but it didn't work - Sure, there was something what made you blocked (Maybe some character traits, an appearance or even odor... it could be anything!)
c) for a feeling of safety - About a feeling of safety, ..which of the safety do you mean? Love at itself can bring just emotional safety, a person in love will never hurt you, I think. Or generally, do you think about full in love men, as a refuge of hard life? Women are pragmatics! Women are females, who have to provide good future for her posterity. Do you think about such feeling of safety?
I guess, you just waited for a man, who will do you love?
d) because it was flatters - hmm... you should get used to love yourself primarily!
What does more important to you: to be loved or to love?
To my mind more pleasant and more dangerous when you love somebody, isn't it? ;)
--- Zitat von: Kenaz am 14 Dezember 2012, 10:15:04 ---
Es ist vollkommen richtig, dass das eine Frage der moralischen Standards ist, die man hat oder eben nicht hat. Deshalb habe ich meine Antwort genau so und nicht anders formuliert: Ich finde, die Frage ist von EL dermaßen zweifelnd formuliert, dass ich den deutlichen Eindruck habe, dass hier eine Kollision mit moralischen Wertbegriffen vorprogrammiert ist...
...Und das mit dem Alter ist geschenkt, da bin ich völlig bei Dir - mir ging es um die Kombination Familienleben vs. virtuelle Schwärmerei. Und von nichts anderem kann man ernsthaft sprechen, wenn man sich nur einmal im Leben zu Gesicht bekommen hat.
--- Ende Zitat ---
I understand your point of view, you are on the side of family as an indivisible unit. But you admit some combination... ;) ( if I good understand.. ::)) It's right, but for a stability function of family there are several aspects, which have to be:
a) love
b) the same interests and aims
c) coincidence of characters, more-less coincidence of sexual desires.
d) diplomacy, ability of negotiation and mutual desire to extinguish conflicts.
How mach are such families, where one of partners began to realize that he/she made a mistake, but It's too later to do something (small lovely children!). It's classic! It's very good, when partners can good understand each other and try to go towards. What about interests of person, if he/she can't actualize his/her sexually fantasy in the family borders?
a) It's better don't admit yourself in that! You have to forget yourself, sacrifice yourselves to family life, to trample your sexuality, more better to consider to some religion ( if you don't happy on this world, will be happy after died! or will be happy with 40 virgins etc..)...or to dive with your ears to work.
b) Next variant - to be quiet prickteaser (sorry) whole life in a corner in front of a porn-screen, with a head, full of fantasy.
c) Or.. one day you'll try to realize your fantasy with somebody else... :-\
--- Zitat von: RaoulDuke am 14 Dezember 2012, 08:53:21 ---The question if you have to or should stop that cannot be answered by anyone except yourself - ant the respective answer depends on your concept of morality....
--- Ende Zitat ---
What is the morality? and what have to be morality?
Love (+ sex inside this concept) and morality are incompatible in their essence, they have nothing to do!
You can to tell I'm mixing concepts of Sex and Love, don't thinks that.
I think the love principally lays on the sexuality (I don't mean the love to World, to God or to children)... Hallo, Mr. Freud? Where are you? :D
Raoul, I think I would hurt him, if I stop our relations absolutely. If the person fall in love, he wants that subconsciously, I know it from myself!
It's mean he need to love, he wants that! So, I'm not a moral person, I let the love to swim... :D
--- Zitat von: Kenaz am 14 Dezember 2012, 08:13:13 ---
--- Zitat von: EL am 10 Dezember 2012, 22:11:09 ---It seems a little bit strangely, because I have seen him just once in my life.
--- Ende Zitat ---
... sollten als Antwort auf diese Frage ...
--- Ende Zitat ---
I my case It really one nice stormy meeting ;D and long virtual talking....
--- Zitat von: RaoulDuke am 14 Dezember 2012, 08:53:21 ---...what is wrong about being the erotic fantasy of someone, or even being loved?
--- Ende Zitat ---
Nothing is wrong! 8)
--- Zitat von: RaoulDuke am 14 Dezember 2012, 08:53:21 ---... And isn't having seen each other only once something that can fuel the desire, as we so often want what we just can not get or can not get easily? Our thoughts and fantasies are not being verified by reality too soon... Amplifying whatever happens when they finally are.
--- Ende Zitat ---
Oh! A hunter says within you! ;D
RaoulDuke:
[Beitrag wieder weg, löste mir ein etwas arg negatives Echo aus und mißverständlich fand ich ihn auch.]
RaoulDuke:
--- Zitat von: messie am 16 Dezember 2012, 17:49:03 ---Ach, ich formuliere das mal anders:
Liebe ist das, das dir genau dann passiert, wenn's dir grade überhaupt nicht in den Kram passt.
8)
--- Ende Zitat ---
*g* Warum sind nicht alle Dinge, die mir permanent zu passieren scheinen, wenn es mir überhaupt nicht in den Kram passt, so toll? :)
EL:
--- Zitat von: RaoulDuke am 18 Dezember 2012, 21:38:38 ---
--- Zitat von: messie am 16 Dezember 2012, 17:49:03 ---Ach, ich formuliere das mal anders:
Liebe ist das, das dir genau dann passiert, wenn's dir grade überhaupt nicht in den Kram passt.
8)
--- Ende Zitat ---
*g* Warum sind nicht alle Dinge, die mir permanent zu passieren scheinen, wenn es mir überhaupt nicht in den Kram passt, so toll? :)
--- Ende Zitat ---
Really, your the most intimate feelings are usually hidden. 8)
The love is something, what you don't want to share even in the virtual space, isn't it? ;)
EL:
--- Zitat von: RaoulDuke am 18 Dezember 2012, 21:36:32 ---[Beitrag wieder weg, löste mir ein etwas arg negatives Echo aus und mißverständlich fand ich ihn auch.]
--- Ende Zitat ---
It's so pity, I just wanted answer you! :( There was nothing for to be ashamed, it just needed more detailed response. :)
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